So a while ago I had a drunk conversation with a friend that ended with a pact that we would, the following day, drive to Bloukrans bridge outside Plett, from Cape Town, and bungy jump off of it.
I don't know why I made that pact. It was silly really. I had absolutely no intention of going through with it because I am a terrified lunatic that gets frightened climbing a ladder.
There are many other things which I would prefer to do, such as plunge into a bath of boiling hot oil, shark dive with an open wound, go for a bikini wax when I am hungover, or go for a 15 km run with only one sports bra. See, I can be extreme...but I'm afraid that's about as extreme as I get.
I have my reservations about diving off of a bridge with only a rubber band to save me for several reasons:
1. I am afraid that when I reach the bottom of the plunge, my eyeballs will continue the bungy jump and jump straight out of my sockets, attached only by the opthalmic nerve. Easy to picture isn't it? Well,no, not when your eyeballs are hanging lower than your elbows because they enjoyed the jump a bit too much.
2. A friend of mine told me that when his friend was doing his first bungy jump, he was incredibly nervous, so they thought "hey, let's play a joke on the old boy to loosen him up a bit". Well, the joke consisted of shouting "WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!" just as their "friend" departed the bridge. That's not funny at all. Now, luckily the friend survived, however, had it been me, I would have died instantly from a heart attack before you could even say "Wait" a second time. Then the joke would be on them. Ha.
3. I am afraid that, joke or no joke, I actually will die of a heart attack. I scare easily.
4. I am afraid that, if by some chance I should actually survive the hellish ordeal, I will surely void my bowels because my body will think it is dying nonetheless. The shame that would plague me when I am pulled back to the top and have to be changed like a geriatric after they've shat themselves might kill me on it's own.
So in the end my conclusion about bungy jumping is this: don't do it. You will surely perish and die.
I am with you on that. Another reason not to jump is the rope might snap - refer to the story of the lady in Zim... Just think, you could be the 1 in 1000 whose rope just decides it's had enough and snaps. Not what I would like to face thank you very much. I might have a little heart attack.
ReplyDeleteMeg this blog is awesome!!