A series of unfortunate misunderstandings....

You know those moments when you think someone said something that they did not, but you acted according to what you thought they said,or you come to school dressed in civvies on the wrong day, or when you nod, smile and agree to something which you didnt even hear? Or maybe you pulled some innocent dance move on someone whom you thought to be a willing participant and they called the police. A small Misunderstanding is all it is. They happen to everyone.

So I have this friend Anel, prounced like a- nel. Not anal. I called her Anal once. She didn't like it. I saw things I wish I'd never seen that day, things an afrikaans girl shouting in something that was neither Afrikaans nor English, and a swift movement with a very sharp pinkie nail which had been kept hidden by an Austrian glove for the precise moments when people called her "Anal". I nearly lost an eyebrow. Razor sharp that nail was.
The history of her misunderstood name stems from a dyslexic man with an orange beard. His girlfriend is Anel's cousin and was out trying to find something to  buy for anel on her birthday. Finally when she found the perfect gift, she texted her boyfriend. " I brought Anel earrings", to which he understood "I bought Anal earrings".....:mmm.... You can see how he could be confused. At which point he muttered under his breath "I really wish you hadn't". Cue hilarious laughter and ridicule. Particularly when anel was presented with the earrings. Meant for the ears of course (what would one even call anal earrings? analings? That gives me an image of dingleberries, which, if I'm correct, is not far from the truth.....

Another small misunderstanding due to not listening and a poor comprehension in the English language occurred when I was in grade 7 during a performance of the Wizard of Oz. I looked very gay and munchkinny dressed in my oversized skirt and night cap. Whislt my friend Mel and I crouched behind a mushroom (awaiting to leap out and scare the Lion) I was stung by a bee. A bee on the set of the Wizard of Oz! Preposterous! It was excrutiating! I cried silently and announced to Mel in a whisper that I had been stung by a bee. At which she responded by looking at me incredulously and with disgust before whispering in a very harsh voice that I should remove myself immediately from behind the mushroom and get off the stage before I embarrassed myself. I didn't really understand her. I suppose a bee sting can be quite embarrassing? I didn't want to offend the crowd with my bee sting so I crept off the stage and hid in the curtains, missing the only 5 minutes of fame I have ever had in my short life. The misunderstanding comes to light when, after the play, I was pointed and  laughed at and called "wee wee munchkin" by all the other "cool" grade 7's. It turned out Mel had thought I had said "I just peeed!", so she claimed she was saving me from social suicide by telling me to get off the stage. Just as well she told the whole grade then that I peed my pants when I didn't. Nice. And the worst is that no one belives you when you say "I didn't just pee in my pants"....."Yeah ok, sure you didn't...."

This next misunderstanding may be the reason why my friend's mom laughs like a lunatic and calls me camel when she sees me. I was at home for the university holiday and had to catch up some studying for a psychology assignment about depression in adolescents, so I decided to get ahead and do some light reading on the subject. After reading an article about camel humps for about 2hours I came out feeling very confused and worried. So I phoned my very wise Dr friend Squiggy to ask her opinion on the matter:
Me: "Hey Squ, have you started reading up on psych yet?"
Squ: "Yes, have you?"
Me: "Well I've tried but I don't understand it, maybe you can help me. I really don't understand how camels have anything to do with psychology and adolescents. I know that they can store water in their humps and have multiple eyelids to protect them from sand and wind, but how does that affect their mental state? Do they suffer from depression because they live in an arid desert? Or because they have to survive invasive sand storms day in and day out? Or because arabs keep riding them and don't pay them? And how do they even measure depression in camels?! Please tell me what you came up with?"
Squ: "Um....... I think you read the article we had to read for biology instead....."
At which point Squiggy burst out laughing, dropped the phone and called her mom to tell her about my "hilarious" misfortune.
See? A simple misunderstanding which cost me my dignity as well as my mental well being. How about using that for a case study on depression?